I'm going on a trip, a far one. I want to escape my base city for awhile to go to another metropolis. I know I'm not ready, even my pockets are squeezed dry, but it's the most special of occasions, and I want to mark it with a very memorable get-away.  

I have to keep on. Amidst the adversity and the never-ending pressures from different angles, I just have to go on. I'm hanging on to the hope of it all ending soon. I have to know that I am not alone, that there is support. And many members of my generation have acted and taken the plunge. I can't pin down the right timing of the dive, but I feel it's coming, it's almost here. To another week, and the opporunity to live and take those baby steps. It's not the speed, it's the compass.

It's my birthday, my 8,399th day in the world. I wish, I need my next big break to come. 

I've carried one main struggle-to remain in my comfort zone or not. Staying in your comfort zone is equivalent to having that warm, ooozily safe feeling. It's about being surrounded by familiar faces, friendly laughter, marked hang-outs and doing things you've always loved doing. Safety and predictably, aaaahh the good life. Imagine being around  a fireplace with your friends and family, sipping hot mushroom soup amidst thunderstorms outside. Once in a while, I step out of these comfort zones, mustering enough courage to push myself beyond self-set boundaries. Dilemma is, there's always that risk of getting burned, and feeling terrible after. Wrong decisions, regrets. Then I can't help but to blame myself. But there's always that thrill, that high of doing something for the first time, of dipping oneself into uncharted territory. After all, who doesn't want to avoid monotony right? Adventure is the essence of happiness. Variety is the spice of life.

I've missed dotting down so many stories in this journal. Most of which have been me stepping out of my geographical&social comfort zones: my trips to Negros' Bacolod City (an ambitious, modern city built on the annals of the powerhouse sugar industry), Cebu City (advanced on all levels, the Visayan answer to Manila) and back to Tagbilaran Bohol (quaint and magical), the hair-raising adventures I've had in the corporate world (buking-to-the-bone. Nyarks!), my experience of voters' registration and resolution of political issues and ahay, the passing of one of history's greatest entertainers: Michael Jackson.

It was early morning, I was preparing to take a bath. I switched my Bravia on, setting the background prep sound to Magandang Umaga Bayan. And there I caught the country's breaking news: Henry Omaga-Diaz saying Michael Jackson, King of Pop at 50, pumanaw na. When I heard the news, at first I was denial. I couldn't believe it. I kept saying to myself that it wasn't his time yet, that two weeks from now he would again conquer London and the world. There was no time, the clock was ticking. Full of doubt I went ahead to the washroom to take a shower. As I felt the sharp cold touch of water on my face, I felt tears falling down my cheeks. I just gave in. From that day, what followed was a barrage of CNN/BBC michael sessions, music channels' countless tributes, the media splashed with MJ news. I followed each and every one of them, as I mourned with millions of his fans all over the globe. I can just imagine Janet's and the whole Jackson family's pain over the loss of their son.

Along with his sister, I felt specially attached to Michael Jackson. He inspired me to sing, to dig deep and pursue my passion for music. There was something special about this man, his talent touched so many lives, and his music gave so much joy to people all over the world. No one moved like him, and his countless hits had that undeniable appeal to everyone. Everyone knew about him but no one really knew him. 

He was ahead of his time, and towards the end of his years, this world judged him. I wish that his next world will be kinder.

This was a strange day, definitely not what I expected it to turn out to be. At the end of it all, there was a prize at the end of the tunnel- a windfall of my oh-so-beloved series. I am so 'effin giddy!

 Filipinos find a lot of pride in their country. And with good reason. Philippine heritage and history is rich, really quite incomparable to its neighbors. And as a proud Filipino, born and raised in the great capital of Manila, I can cateogrically say that it's a place like no other. As homage to its 111th year of independence, I'd like to share with you these bits of squeeze-worthy information about my homeland. 

The Philippines is the FIRST Republic in Asia (1898). While its neighbors haven't fully grasped the concept of a government yet, Filipinos already had a firm sense of something that is beyond governance: nationhood. It's one of the first few countries that genuinely fought for its independence. The birth of the country was a momentous event for Asian history. It sparked other countries to follow suit.

Consequently, it's the FIRST democracy in Asia. Time has shown that democracy is the sole ideology that will protect most of all the people, and will not necessarily impinge upon economic growth. Democracy wasn't given to Filipinos in a silver platter. It was earned. The country taught the world the concept of a peaceful revolution: the EDSA People Power.

Philippine Airlines is Asia's FIRST Airline! It launched the first trans-Pacific flight from Manila to the United States. Truly, it's about experience. 

The Philippines is home to the world's LARGEST eagle (in terms of wing-span): the Philippine monkey-eating eagle. As a symbol of the nation's strength, it's called the Haribon (haring ibon) because of its seemingly crowned head. It's a mesmerizing species.

The Philippines is a founding member of the United Nations. In the 1930s, Manila was one of 2 modern cities in Asia (the other one being Tokyo). Revered by its neighboring countries for its superior infrastructure and booming business climate. 

*Zooming to the present: As one of the emerging economies of Asia, the Philippines' capital, Manila still has its heir of greatness (along with the other great Filipino cities of Cebu, Davao, CDO, Puerto Princesa, Bacolod, Iloilo, Legazpi, Tagbilaran etc.). Having spent most of my life here, I still can't stay I've seen every nook and cranny of Manila. Once dubbed "Queen City of the Pacific," it now houses the 16th most impressive skyline of the world. (next to Toronto).

I believe in this country.

I haven't been in this situation before but I've been running low on choices whenever I go to the cinema! Mainly because whenever there's a movie coming out, may it be barely decent or a big 2009 release, without any hesitation, I watch it in the big screen. That's just one must during the weekends! It's just so different when you watch it in the .cinema- the effects aren't compromised and the storyline is free from distractions, no offense to my Bravia though. That will always be the 26-inch king of gaming. So last night I went again to the Block to watch and alas, a 'gem' was waiting for us.

Drag Me to Hell was definitely not a drag! It was exciting and had some genuinely scary parts. Although I later found out that it was in the 'horror-comedy' genre, Sam Raimi exquisitely handled the story-telling, making it crisp and fast-moving all throughout. We were literally at the edge of our seats! Alison Lohman gave a brilliant performance as the not-so-naive provincial lass. Very good film. 4.5 stars out of five.

Recent movies I also saw were 17 Again, Wolverine, Star Trek, Angels and Demons and Terminator Salvation. Here are my brief reviews for each:

17 Again: Surprisingly interesting, and will push you to reflect on your life. Storyline is the typical out-of-body reversal plot but the cast made sure it had a spin. Zac Efron needs more work on his acting. 4 stars out of 5. *Aha, high school.

Wolverine: The twists made this movie standout, and because it's headlined by Hugh Jackman, it was a surefire crowd-drawer. The story is quite engaging but there's just something lacking in this film. Would have been a perfect HBO afternoon flick. 3.5 stars ouf of 5.

Star Trek: AMAZING! Probably the best film release of 2009. I'm not a trekkie or anything but the effects, scene cohesion and script was great. **Applause** 5 stars out of 5. You must watch this! Spock's eyebrows would haunt you in your dreams if you didn't.

Angels and Demons: It was pathetic to watch Tom Hanks play a professor trying too hard to be the  Rome version of Indiana Jones. The stunts he pulled off to prevent the Illuminatii destroying the Church and the whole Vatican Island was simply unbelieveble (in the negative sense of the word). I know Adrian warned me before watching this film but it was the most decent release that week. Must-watch-a-film-every-week syndrome. I fell asleep in the 2.5 hour torture. 2.5 stars out of 5.

Terminator Salvation (premiere): I was dragged by my officemates to go watch with them the Philippine premiere of the fourth installment of Terminator. Captivating effects and Christian Bale was able to carry the movie throughout. Memorable storyline, definitely not regrettable. After the film, you just can't help but shout, "Go Humans!" 4 stars out of 5. Recommended.

Relax. Have fun. Go watch a movie.

The feeling's a little bit different, it's been hitting off. I know it's been imperfect, but there are glimpses of gratitude. Ah, it's a struggle that is yet to be resolved. If only there wasn't this sudden turn of events. It was actually a pleasant surprise, I've been assigned to lead the ultimate 'roadshow'. I wasn't fully aware yet of the plans, but right smack in the middle of the week, I found myself in a car touring the whole of North Luzon - Nueva Ecija, Nueva Vizcaya (passing by my birthplace of Solano and seeing a glimpse of OUR former ranch full of cows at the tip of the two provinces ), and then up north to Isabela. After the stint in Santiago City, stayed at pretty 'lil Villa Diana and then off we went through a 'zigzag to the bone' road from Aritao Nueva Vizcaya to Baguio. It was like being in a roller coaster for four hours! I was so dizzy that I took bonamine and a couple of painkillers. I thought I'd vommit right down the side of the ravines. It was the path less taken, and for a reason. But Baguio didn't fail to deliver, it will always have its charm. =)

We stayed at no less than The Manor. It was my first time to stay there, and  I thought to myself 'the accomodation was superb and the breakfast buffet was unforgettable'. I couldn't forget their customized omelette, razed bacon and their chilled strawberry yogurt. From a 14-hour stay in Baguio, went down to the quaint province of La Union and then nearing Manila, had a pit stop in modern Pampanga. I don't know if I'm having cold feet, but seeing North Philippines in a 3-day land trip made me realize how rooted I am to this island. It was a 3-day exhilirating, exhausting and a 'lil bit crazy land trip, but it was the kind of traveling I needed especially at this period in my life. I also got close to newfound friends.

It's been only North Luzon, and this is national in scope. The trip in North Luzon was like the prelude to a  pocket book. 6 hours from now, I got a flight to Puerto Princesa! I've always wondered how Palawan looks like, what it feels to be in the last frontier. I don't have the cam with me, but I'll make it a point to get shots of Coron and Honda Bay. Palawan will be totally different, just like any other island of the country. But I'm sure it's famous for a whole lotta reasons.

Sweet dreams and I gotta tell you, life is too short not to see all the beautiful places and people of our homeland. You owe it to yourself. Peace

I don't need to enter a new chapter in my life. I actually need to CREATE it. It's all a matter of choice, and with a pint of God's blessing, you can go where you want to go. But it's SOOO difficult to take that first step. You're in your comfort zone, but something seriously stresses you out. Every moment is a burden, knowing and feeling that you're lost somehow. Taking the plunge this weekend will take a lot, even to the point of draining me. But next week, knowing that I didn't do anything to resolve this, will be worse. Am undergoing a lot of stress these past few weeks.

Imagine taking hold of your destiny, crafting the path that you will take. Note the difference between treading the right path and creating that path for yourself.

Watching Archuleta and Cook tomorrow at Mall of Asia. =) I pray that all of this ends within the weekend.